An empty seat

On September 28, 2009 my Grandmother passed away. She is the only one of my Grandparents who I really knew.

I keep reminding myself that we were really fortunate to have her with us for as long as we did. She died at the age 93 and ll months, to the date.

Christmas will be hard this year, as will all the months leading up and following it. I've never lost such a close family member before this, at least not that I remember. Both of my Grandfathers passed before I was 3 years old, and my Dad's Mom died when I was 5 or 6, so I don't have much of a recollection her.

Besides just being sad over the loss of my Grandmother, I kind of feel selfish about the fact that one of the most upsetting things for me is that she won't be at our wedding. I'm sure it's natural to feel that way when somebody close to you passes and you are in the process of planning one of the most exciting events in your Life.

It's the little things that are getting to me. I won't have to buy her a corsage to wear, or put out an escort card with her name on it. She won't be included in the family portraits, and possibly the most disappointing is that I won't get that picture of the three generations with my Grandmom, my Mom and myself. Like I said, it's the silly stuff but those are things that are presently most upsetting.

Miss you Grandmom. I know you won't be there physically, but I'm sure your love and support will be surrounding us all on that day.